This semester I am enrolled in a class at Duke Divinity School on “Preaching the Old Testament.” (Taught by Dr. Stephen Chapman and Bishop Will Willimon) While we have analyzed the many literary forms of Old Testament Scripture I have been reminded of Kurt Vonnegut’s 8 Tips for Writing. Though Vonnegut would be the last person to offer advice on theological homiletics, I believe his insight in “story crafting” is useful for preparing narrative sermons:
1. Use the time of a total stranger in such a way that he or she will not feel the time was wasted.
2. Give the reader at least one character he or she can root for.
3. Every character should want something, even if it is only a glass of water.
4. Every sentence must do one of two things—reveal character or advance the action.
5. Start as close to the end as possible.
6. Be a Sadist. No matter how sweet and innocent your leading characters, make awful things happen to them—in order that the reader may see what they are made of.
7. Write to please just one person. If you open a window and make love to the world, so to speak, your story will get pneumonia.
8. Give your readers as much information as possible as soon as possible. To hell with suspense. Readers should have such complete understanding of what is going on, where and why, that they could finish the story themselves, should cockroaches eat the last few pages.